10 Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Dr. Debi Silber
4 min readSep 28, 2022

There will likely come a time when you feel confused, unsure, and lacking in self-confidence. It can happen with something big like if you’ve just been betrayed, rejected, lied to, or deceived in some way. It could happen with a less painful experience like something not going as planned, a mishap or mistake. It could happen at work, at home with family, or even when you’re with friends or neighbors. Luckily, you can send yourself some messages that will put you back on track.

Here are a few statements to say to yourself when your confidence is dropping:

  1. I’m allowed to feel however I feel. You’re a human being. Giving the thoughts and emotions enough time to be felt allows them to pass through you. Preventing yourself from feeling them, keeps them there, trying to get your attention. As renowned Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist Carl Jung said: “What you resist, persists.” So, give yourself the ok to allow the feelings to move through you.
  2. I can take some time to figure this out. You have a right to have some moments away from the confidence-reducing situation to think it through. Depending on the severity of the situation, more time than usual may be needed to feel grounded and safe again. For example, if you’re a runner and broke your leg, you’d allow it to heal before you started running again. If you insisted on running on that broken leg, you’d only delay your healing. Same thing here. If you feel emotionally “broken” by some event or experience, you need the time to regroup and heal.
  3. Because my life is full, I’m bound to experience lagging self-confidence. The more you take on, the more opportunity you have for highs and lows, successes and feedback. If you don’t try anything new, sure you’re less likely to experience setbacks but then again, you don’t experience much growth either. It’s impossible to be on top of your game one hundred percent of the time when you’re learning, growing and evolving.
  4. I have a lot of positives in my life. It’s helpful to reflect on the high points. You may have people you love, work you find fulfilling, and a home that’s comforting. Tell yourself that the positives may largely exist because of you, your choices and actions. Connecting with that thought will build up your confidence. Even look around the space you’re in right now. Chances are what’s in your space has been placed there by you because it feels good to you in some way. Reflect on these things to remind yourself of the inspiration…
Dr. Debi Silber

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://pbtinstitute.com helps people heal from the trauma of betrayal.