7 Ways to Regain Control After Betrayal

Betrayal. It’s a word that carries such a heavy weight, and yet it hardly scratches the surface of what you’re experiencing. If you’ve recently been betrayed, you’re likely feeling a mixture of shock, disbelief, and a profound sense of loss. It’s as if the ground beneath you has vanished, leaving you suspended in mid-air, unsure of how to find your footing. I see you, and I want you to know: you are not alone. While it may feel impossible right now, there is a way forward — a way to regain control, rebuild, and reclaim your power.

Here are seven actionable steps to help you navigate the chaos of betrayal and start grounding yourself:

Acknowledge And Honor Your Feelings

First and foremost, let yourself feel. Betrayal often triggers a storm of emotions: anger, sadness, confusion, disbelief, rage, embarrassment and even shame. It’s tempting to shove these feelings aside and pretend they don’t exist, but unprocessed emotions don’t disappear — they fester. Think of your emotions like waves in the ocean. They’ll rise, peak, and eventually recede. The key is not to fight the waves but to ride them as you’re moving through them. Give yourself permission to cry, scream, journal, or simply sit with your feelings. This isn’t weakness; it’s bravery. The reality is, many people choose to numb, avoid and distract themselves instead. While it may make the day a bit easier to get through, it’s not without a price. Avoiding these feelings keeps them there. In my PhD study on betrayal there were three groups…