Developing More Self-Compassion

Dr. Debi Silber
4 min readAug 9, 2022

Studies are confirming what has long been taught in Buddhism and other traditions. Developing more compassion for yourself will make you happier and more successful at reaching your goals. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, there are lots of benefits of self-compassion and ways to make it a healthy practice for life. Now, before you start worrying that being a little kinder to yourself will zap your motivation, here are a few benefits of having more self-compassion. See which ideas resonate the most.

Benefits of Having Compassion for Yourself

  1. Experience greater happiness. Self-compassion means valuing yourself and treating yourself well. You’re bound to feel better when you remove negative self-talk and become a better friend to yourself. This can be especially hard when you’re healing from betrayal and shattered trust. You’ve already been blindsided and may be trying to move through the most painful experience of your life. Giving yourself a little compassion isn’t just helpful, it’s crucial.
  2. Accomplish your goals more easily. There’s no need to criticize yourself to eliminate bad habits. What you may be viewing as flaws may simply be what makes you different. Or, if certain negative habits are holding you back, find ways to change while focusing on action plans that gently move you forward. If you break a promise to yourself, learn from it and start again. If you can’t seem to fit in that workout, see what you can delegate to create more time. If you keep ruminating over your unhealed betrayal, get the support you need to get unstuck. If you’re denied one job opening, change your resume so you’re ready for the next opening.
  3. Become more resilient. Accept that life is full of ups and downs; take them in stride instead of being derailed by them. You’ll bounce back faster when you realize that challenges and setbacks are as inevitable as rainy days. It’s all about finding healthy ways to move through them.
  4. Feel more motivated. When you learn to be more compassionate with yourself, you’ll feel more committed to making investments in your future. Giving yourself the freedom to make mistakes reduces the anxiety that holds you back from trying new things. Every mistake brings you one step closer to finding the route that’s best for you.
  5. Feel more connected with others. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer suggested that we call each other “my fellow sufferer.” When we realize that we all want to be happy but we often…
Dr. Debi Silber

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute helps people heal from the trauma of betrayal.