Discovering Your Inner Strength

Dr. Debi Silber
4 min readNov 8, 2022

While life can be extremely rewarding and fulfilling, sometimes it can also knock the wind out of your sails when you experience a painful experience like the shattering of trust, betrayal, abuse, illness, financial distress, and more. When tough times trigger insecurities, you can discover an inner strength that will get you through almost anything.

Try these ideas to get started:

Reflect on the tough times you’ve had before. Ask yourself how you got through it. What did you do? What did you think? What did you tell yourself? Your resilience will become obvious as you do this exercise. It’ll also boost your confidence in dealing with other obstacles that can come up in the future.

  • Recognize that you’ve made it through those difficult situations. Then think about what you’re experiencing right now. Is the current situation similar to or much different from your other tough times? Use what you’ve learned from your past challenges and apply that knowledge to a current situation that you may be struggling with.

Learn to talk to yourself in positive, encouraging ways. This will help you build up your inner strength.

  • Speak to yourself as if you were speaking with a friend. What do you want to hear? What do you need to hear to help gather your strength? Is there something specific you are hoping will happen? Give that to yourself through your own encouraging words and actions.
  • Practice giving yourself with encouraging, uplifting messages. The messages you give yourself can bring you down or they can propel you through the roughest of circumstances.
  • Speaking to yourself with respect, care and encouragement builds your inner strength so it’s there when you need it. When the going gets tough, you’ll have yourself to fall back on.

Allow yourself time to think through whatever the situation is. It’s okay to take time to process something shocking, upsetting, or simply something you didn’t expect. The situation (shattered trust or a betrayal for example) can completely change life as you’ve known it so take the time needed to reorient yourself as you decide how to move through the experience. Possibly something not quite as life altering but still a shift from the familiar, also takes time in order to decide on your next best step.

  • What are your ideas about how to weather the storm? Examine all the solutions you can come up with. Explain to…



Dr. Debi Silber

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute helps people heal from the trauma of betrayal.