Simple Steps to Changing a Limiting Belief

Dr. Debi Silber
4 min readNov 2, 2022

Our beliefs have a huge impact on our behavior. Not only do they have a huge impact on our behavior, it’s our beliefs that actually create our behaviors. So, if we want to change our existing results, instead of making changes to the behaviors you’d like to change, best to get to the root at how and why those behaviors were formed in the first place. How? By getting to the beliefs behind them. Since beliefs are at the root of it all, making changes to our beliefs is how we change our results.

For example, if you believe that you’ll never have a loving relationship, you’ll talk yourself out of anything contrary to that belief. If you believe you’re destined to live an unfulfilling live, you’ll steer clear of anything that can dismantle what you feel is the only possibility for you. So truly changing your life is dependent on changing your beliefs.

Now, if trust has been shattered and/or you’ve been betrayed, it’s very possible the experience has created beliefs that need your attention. Has it created the belief that you’re unlovable, unworthy or undeserving? Has the experience created a belief that no one is trustworthy, loyal or kind? While it’s understandable to believe that after a painful experience, to heal, it’s worthy of a fresh perspective.

If you have limiting beliefs you’re ready to change, this process can help you change them to beliefs that better serve you.

Start by writing down your answers to these questions:

  1. Which belief do you want to change? You need to be able to see it to work with it effectively. A helpful way to do that is to write it down. For example, one limiting belief you might have is: “I will never have a lot of money.”
  2. What has the belief cost you? Make a list of all the ways this belief has negatively impacted your life. Really think about it, because it helps to have as much negative ammunition to get rid of that old belief as you can get. Spend some time; it might even take a couple of days to get a complete list. What has it prevented you from being, having and doing? Write it all out so you see it clearly.
  3. What advantages has the belief provided you? Maybe believing that you could never be wealthy has allowed you to avoid taking risks. Or maybe it has allowed you to work at a profession that’s easy for you. It might be hard to figure out what the advantages are, but they are there. Hard to see the benefits the belief has given you…



Dr. Debi Silber

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute helps people heal from the trauma of betrayal.